MLS Cup Preview: Who’s Staying Alive?

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CREWSC-VS-TIMBERS-185 Adi scores

Adi versus Parkhurst will be an intriguing battle to watch.

By Matt Hoffman

If 1978 never happened, wouldn’t we see things a lot differently?

Would Bill Walton, polarizing as he is, still be considered the best center to lace them up for the Portland Trail Blazers? Would his aura be so immense that is son is now an undefeated NBA coach (okay so not officially)?

If there was no 1978, there would be no Saturday Night Fever. How would we remember John Travolta? How would we remember The Bee Gees?

The movie, especially it’s soundtrack, was a game-changer. The album may well be regarded as the greatest soundtrack of all time that wasn’t either Trainspotting or a Beatles or Prince vanity project. By 1978, the Bee Gees were certifiably, and quantifiably, has-beens; They had a good run but their light-weight would-be Beatles covers (no seriously. This actually happened), their shelf life seemed to expire shortly after The Beatles did.

Instead of calling it a career, the band re-invented themselves. They embraced a new approach. Ask anybody on the street if they know the words to the “New York City Mining Disaster” and, if they are polite, you might receive a blank stare.

Ask that same person if they know the words to “Staying Alive”?

There can only be one Beatles. The Bee Gees were a decent, nice looking bunch of lads but could at best be a pale imitation of what had already come before. But by perfecting themselves and finding their own voice, The Bee Gees became iconic.

Elvis Costello wanted to be Bruce Springsteen.

Marlon Brando wanted to be James Dean.

Jerry Springer wanted to be Bobby Kennedy.

The Flintstones wanted to be the Honeymooners.

Caleb Porter wants to be Pep Guardiola.


Remember Porterball? It looked nice and it worked, initially. But success eluded the Timbers. Portland missed the playoffs last year and were in danger of doing so again this year.

Embracing things that felt abominable to Barcelona-method (Target strikers! Counter-attacking! Ceding possession!), the Timbers are on a cusp of winning Portland’s first championship since 1978.


2008 was a pretty bad year for many people but not for Michael Lewis and the Columbus Crew.

When the Crew won in 2008, Seattle wasn’t even in the league, let alone Portland or Vancouver. Taylor Swift was more likely to make an album of Ryan Adams covers than the inverse and there was no such thing as a “Marvel Cinematic Universe.”

Only a surprisingly good Iron Man movie directed by the whiny dude who wasn’t Vince Vaughn in Swingers. Role Models made us laugh, Mamma Mia made us want to dance, and, hey they tried making another Hulk movie.

Just over a hundred miles outside of Columbus, Caleb Porter’s Akron team was an almost absurd hotbed of MLS talent featuring names like Darlington Nagbe, Blair Gavin, Steve Zakuani, Ben Zemanksi, Michael Nanchoff, and Evan Bush.

At that time, Columbus coach Gregg Berhalter nearing the end of his stint with 1860 Munich and preparing to join the LA Galaxy and begin his tutelage under Bruce Arena.


Fast-forward to today and we have a match of two very similar teams. Both coaches play a system with a single target man up top, speedy wingers and it’s all tied together by a crafty Argentinean. Both coaches are new to the coaching ranks and both coaches prefer speed and skill to power and crudeness.

Championship games–MLS Cups in particular–are notorious for being grid-locked, nasty, brutish, and uneventful contests notable for only the confetti that comes at the end.

This contest aims to fix that.  It is the sort of contest that can be 0-0 at the 80th minute or 5-3.

It only takes a moment to score a goal but three match ups that bear watching:

Columbus Crew SC midfielder Federico Higuain making a run against D.C. United defender Kofi Opare (photo credit: Jennifer Jordan Harrell)

Columbus Crew SC midfielder Federico Higuain making a run against D.C. United defender Kofi Opare (photo credit: Jennifer Jordan Harrell)

  1. Diego Chara versus Federico Higuian

Kei Kamara was the missing piece that propelled the Crew from having a nice season to a championship contender but the engine that makes Columbus run is Higuain.

In Chara, the Timbers have an elite defender who is the Energizer Bunny. Chara will need every bit of speed and pace to keep up with the playmaker. Chara will make challenges but will need to stay in the game. A yellow card would hinder Chara thus hampering Portland’s defensive presence.

AdiCelebrates Portland Chic

  1. Fanendo Adi versus the Columbus back-line

Portland has a significant size advantage. For so long the plan was to send Adi out to physcially battle with the opposing back-line for 70 minutes and then putting the cat-like speedster Maximiliano Urruti for the remainder.

That plan was scrapped in 2015 as Adi has been able to go the whole 90. That’s an advantage for Portland if Adi forces Columbus defenders Michael Parkhurst and Gaston Sauro to expend too much energy and space.

Meram has been selected by Iraq

Meram has been selected by Iraq

  1. Wide versus Narrow

No other team fired in as many crosses into the box this season as Columbus. And it’s not even close. The Timbers will try to funnel the Columbus attack to the center of the field. If Portland can reduce Columbus to playing direct, facing the goal soccer, they will have forced the Crew out of their comfort zone.


There are all the warning signs for this to be a less-than stellar cup. TV ratings, hardly ever a strong selling point, are expected to be even more dismal given that the teams are playing on an NFL Sunday with neither team is in a top-tier (or even top 15) media market.

Then there is the history of the MLS Cup. In the ten previous MLS Cups (not counting penalty kicks), there have been a total of 15 goals. If an entertaining match has a minimum of three goals, historically this competition has fallen well short of that.

More MLS Cup:

Alan Hinton: Sounders fans should support the Timbers on Sunday

Timbers confirm log will travel to Columbus

Cascadia Corner Player of the Year 2015: Jorge Villafana

Portland Profiles: Sunday White, taking a stand just by living her life

UPDATED: Timber Joey’s Log will be at MLS Cup final but not inside stadium

Portland Profiles: Timber Jim, I’d drive the log to Columbus!

Cause for Celebration.

Cascadia Corner: At last, our boasting is real!

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