Chicago Fire v Sounders Meaningless Statistical Game Preview

Hottest Attack Meets Clean Sheet Kasey as Battle of Former Fulham Players may Decide Outcome

May 1 – Prost Amerika Official Viewing Party: May 2 at 5 pm – Atlantic Crossing

Here we go with your weekly chance to be the most boring person in your bar or family.

Sounders score a goal an hour and concede one every three hours on average. Therefore statistically they are looking at a 1.5 – 0.5 win.

Chicago play host to New England next Friday whereas Sounders have their first afternoon game at home to LA Galaxy the day after. Fire score exactly one per half and concede once per hour, so they should win 2-1.5. Neither is likely to happen, proving just how meaningless this all is.

Of Chicago’s 12 goals, five each have been from the left and right feet and two off the noggin. Steve Zakuani’s noggin adds to six right-footed goals and two left-footed ones for the Rave Green. Fire have scored three times from set piece situations, a direct free kick, a goal from an indirect one and of course a penalty. Sounders have not scored any yet from here, a situation they may want to start examining if the goals from open play dry up. Sounders goalkeeper Kasey Keller has still not conceded a goal, a stretch of 389 minutes.

Sigi Schmid has everyone available for selection for the first time this season.

Chicago have trailed three times at the interval and drawn every time. Sounders have won every game they led at half time but lost every game where they conceded a goal at all. Chicago haven’t lost at home since September 21 when Dallas were their visitors.

Chicago’s Goal Machine

It is an incredible twelve regular season games since the Fire failed to score. Colorado shut them out on September 14, 2008 in a 2-0 win. Sounders have kept four clean sheets out of six. Brian McBride is the Fire top scorer with five goals but Marco Pappa leads with 18 goal efforts in total. He has committed just eight fouls, Chicago’s highest but a very low figure for their lead clogger.

Fredy Montero leads the Sounders in two categories. He has been their most fouled player with 16 free kicks won, and has had the most shots on goal with 18. Ossie Alonso leads with three assists. Nate Jaqua has committed 13 fouls, the team leader in that category. Patrick Nyarko has been caught offside six times for the Fire.

The Fire have scored an incredible four goals in the last 15 minutes of games, a sign that Sounders will have to be on their guard till the final whistle. Sounders have conceded two of their three goals in that final quarter. They have not conceded a goal in the first half hour of either half.

Old Man River Thames

Former Fulham star Brian McBride will turn 37 on June 19 making him Chicago’s oldest player. Fulham play on the banks of the River Thames thus the headline. If you didn’t know that, then you’ve actually learned something useful today. Ironically their baby is Marco Pappa at a mere 21. Chicago have a player called Washington but Sounders have none called Illinois. Austin Washington is actually from Washington, being a native of Spokane. Sounders have no players born in Illinois at all though four born in California, none of whom Sigi has actually selected for MLS action. Well he did live there, so he knows something we don’t!

Sounders’ Birthday Boy!

It is Evan Brown’s birthday today! He’s 22, Happy Birthday Evan. There are no Canadians on either squad. Referee Jasen Anno gives 27.8 free kicks per game. It is not known whether he has any jerseys but he is unlikely to be taking any gifts tomorrow.

Ossie Alonso will face a ban if he picks up another yellow but fear not, Patrick Ianni looked very comfortable in his position against RSL in the Open Cup.

Sigi has a good record against the Fire with 11 wins and six draws from 25 matches, an average of 1.56 points per game.

Brian McBride, defender Tim Ward, and goalkeeper Jon Busch have played every minute of every game, and Nyarko and Pappa have started every Fire game. Sounders ‘every minuters’ are Jhon Hurtado, Tyrone Marshall, Brad Evans, and Osvaldo Alonso. At one goal every 141.5 minutes, Steve Zakuani is Sounders most regular scorer but in that time he hasn’t committed one single foul. No wonder he didn’t fit in at the Arsenal! Midfielder Justin Mapp has played 273 minutes for Chicago without troubling the officials.

This is Chicago’s third home game of the season. 10,782 watched the last one against Kansas. 15,463 is the smallest crowd that has watched the Sounders, when they played Chivas in LA.

In their 1-1 tie at DC United, no Fire player was caught offside. The week before at Dallas, there were five miscreants. Sounders were caught three times on opening day but not once the next week against RSL.

With John Carver’s departure, Chicago Coach Dennis Hamlett is now the only MLS coach with a Shakespeare play named after him. It’s a tragedy.

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